relationships Archives - Page 2 of 2

Three Ways to Better Your Friendships

Most of the time, social media has been a blessing to me. Not all relationships can withstand social media though. Sometimes, it is better for friends not be “friends,” and in light of missionary work, today I took some steps to build some healthy boundaries and keep healthy friendships well. Here are my three ways to build better relationships:

My personal Facebook: This is for friends, family, co-workers, and those “grandfathered” in over the years (because, well, we’ve become great friends from a distance). Oftentimes, I will ignore Facebook friend requests unless I know them as a personal friend. If you are a ministry contact, please “like” my Facebook page or request via email to join our Technology and Missions Page. I do want to connect with you, but Facebook limits the amount of friends one can have on their personal profiles. This is why I created a page. I have 22 social networks. I am active on most of them; and all of them, when I am 100% supported.
Healthy Discussion by Example: One of the things I have done over the years was to create a comment policy so discussions and disagreements can be civil. This applies to all my Facebook accounts and some other social media where I can monitor the thread. I believe we can treat each other with love and not agree with everything the other person stands for. In doing so, I delete comments that are name calling, a put down to the person’s character, or come off as angry and sound confrontational. There are 52 Bible Verses talking about “self-control.” James 1:19-20 says, “Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to grow angry. This is because an angry person doesn’t produce God’s righteousness.” I believe we can be loving to others with any confrontations done in private message, text, email, phone call, or face-to-face; never in the public eye.
Refraining From Being Right: The church I work at is doing a sermon on the tongue, and James really hits it hard on the power of the tongue and its consequences. When perusing my social media, I may disagree with someone, but I only respond if it is a misrepresentation of the truth or if there is a chance they are open to discussion. Politics can be a stumbling block to some in seeking Jesus. It is such a hard balance to maintain. Share my politics and become that stumbling block or say nothing? I believe a happy middle ground exists. I think people can share their views if we all practice tolerance towards those we disagree with (and I’m not talking about the tolerance in the accepting way). Tolerance in being kind as we disagree. This goes back to point number two. Or if a conversation is going badly, refraining from further discourse to preserve the friendship. Make sure you are relying on the Holy Spirit’s guidance as you navigate social media and relationships.

What have you found in your relationships that work?

How do you monitor your social networks?

Night Thoughts

When it’s dark and quiet as your head rests on the pillow, and gone are the nagging day-to-day to-do-isms that have kept your feet moving, your mind awakens.

Another ministry leader falls. Scandal shows up on your newsfeed from another person who claimed to be Christian. Our kingdoms on earth are built on foundations of sand instead of Stone. Or on normal nights, noting the comments online or thinking about the people who can’t see clearly how their words can build up or tear down; it’s their right to say and do as they please publicly regardless of the consequences. And how I pull back my fingers from the keyboard, choosing to walk this walk upright as best as possible.

Then, there’s the diaspora.

With so little time during the week, how do I reach them? How do I connect?

To connect, I need to learn about their culture which requires a whole lot of listening first and asking a lot of questions. To make connections online, you have to invest the time.

So as I think about walking the walk and my own deficiencies, I think of these verses always:

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

– 1 Corinthians 13

Building More Than Ministry

David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.

1 Chronicles 28:20

When I left the meeting on Friday, I felt incredibly blessed. I am raising financial partnerships as a missionary with WorldVenture, and God helped me see how I can invest back into people’s lives. People don’t leave without leaving something behind, and Friday I left learning something new. I’m not just building ministries and service, but relationships.

This whole weekend has been amazing.

God has been involving me in real world solutions. Every day I wake up and wonder what adventure God will bring me on next. Who will I meet? How can I help?