How to Listen in Conflict


Remember playing tug-of-war? Two teams tugging at each end to get the other team to cross the line in the middle? That’s how I felt this week. I felt like the rope. How do you practice discernment when you feel like the rope?

  1. Pray.
  2. Listen first to each side, carefully weighing and sifting through the facts. Put aside your emotions.
  3. Be careful of opinions. They may be the wrong ones.
  4. Be kind and compassionate.
  5. You don’t have to take sides, and when you do have to make a decision, go back to number 2.

Romans 12:18-19 comes to mind,

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

This week I learned how to be a peacemaker. I learned to listen better. These lessons I write on my heart and it will take me into ministry when I am fully funded. God is using this season in my life to teach me things I’ll need when serving in ministry.

To become a monthly financial partner (it’s tax deductible), go here. Create a partner account and choose my name as the person you’d like to support. I would love to have you on my team. 

Being a Successful Servant

“Successful servants of the Lord have relied on the work of the spirit and intuitively understood how to frame their message to influence people to want to transform their lives and communities.”

– Intercultural Communication for Christian Ministry, 6% (kindle)


In this section, the book cautions us not to use knowledge for shallow and temporarily transformed communities, but reminds us that change is always the work of the Holy Spirit. For long-term change, a missionary must have a good prayer life.

I’m reminded of all the great books out there from self-help to strategies to elevate your online platform. We first must pray, then listen.

The book reminds us, “Christians who are committed to ministry are prone to be too quick to speak and too slow to listen. We rush in to answer the questions (assuming them to be the same as ours) before we know what questions our audience is asking. (5%, kindle)” 

Before communities online can be transformed, we need to listen to their questions, know which ones to answer, and which ones can wait. Be their friend first. Let the Holy Spirit do His work via prayer.